Emotions have a Life-span

Fritz Perls

Fritz Perls, the founder of Gestalt therapy, said, "Emotions have a life-span that includes a birth and a death, a beginning and an ending."

We each carry within us all the unfinished emotions from all the traumas we have ever had. We may no longer be mentally conscious of these submerged, unfinished emotions, but they are still inside, playing a silent part in our day-to-day reactions to life.  What we present to the world, and those around us, is the accumulation of these unfinished aches and pains that subtly or not so subtly, direct our actions and reactions to today's events…


The residue of painful emotions from incidents in the past congregate into a tangled mass of emotional pain held deep in the body, lying there in wait to re-activate at the nearest sign of an emotionally charged event that feels similar. Each new painful event instantly connects with the bundle of pain inside and starts the reactivation. Since the pain being evoked is usually considered by society (and usually by ourselves) to be harmful, we try to suppress it mentally all the while our bodies are reacting to pain as they always do, by contracting, so the contraction continues to trap the pain inside.


Painful emotions provoke an involuntary bodily response [known as] ACPR, or Auto Contractile Pain Reflex, which squeezes the organs and glands in the bodily region where the emotion is being experienced.  


SHEN Therapists use the chi from between their hands to relax tissue, releasing the contractions to allow the emotion to lift and finally dissolve.


More information here: How SHEN works


And here: Emotions, Pain and Your Body


Note:  Text above partially excerpted from the chapter The Dynamics of Emotion, in the   Notebook given to students taking the SHEN Therapy Personal Empowerment Workshops.
Copyright Richard Pavek, SHEN Therapy Institute.
 

Prayer to the Directions

Here is a prayer I wrote when I was studying with a Lakota Sioux medicine woman grandmother: 

 Invocation to the Directions

Spirit of the East, Wabun, I call you 

Air and Breeze help breathe me 

Eagle and all wind riders 

Please help me walk the Sacred Way.

Spirit of the South, Shawnodese, I call you 

Fire flower please blossom in my soul 

Cougar, Wolf, Coyote, Mouse, 

Please help me walk the Sacred Way.

Spirit of the West, Mudjekeewis, 

And element of Water, I call you

My heart aches and tears fall for what has been. 

I ask to feel all that has been and all that there is. 

Whale and Bear, I ask you, 

Please help me walk the Sacred Way.

Spirit of the North, Waboose, 

And element of Earth, I call you 

Please help me stand and deeply listen 

Great Ones, White Buffalo, Elk, please aid me 

Help me walk the Sacred Way.

Spirit Above, Father Sky, I feel you 

Your sunlight warms and lightens me. 

Thank you for your blessings 

Please help me walk the Sacred Way.

Spirit Below, Mother Earth, I come to you

With all my heart I ask to receive you 

Please take me into the Quiet and help me Walk the Sacred Way.

Spirit Within, I AM, I call you 

Please merge me with Great Spirit's intention 

Deeply and buoyantly let us travel 

Please remind me that I AM the Sacred Way

O Great Masters I invoke you 

Christed friends and spirit allies I honor you 

Thank you for loving me and reminding me of the Sacred Way.

—Ayleyaell Kinder “TurtleDove,” October 1996

Download The Invocation to the Directions as a .pdf here

Being Present to One's Heart

"The most important therapeutic ability is the capacity to be present with the heart and to be grounded in our inner being, in the authentic self, in the meditative quality within, in the inner source of love and truth, through which we can meet another person." says Dhyan Giten, from his new book “Presence - Working from Within.”

I agree with Dhyan, and I would say, in addition to being present in the heart and grounded in our inner being - a part of the work I do in SHEN Therapy-  be present to the "Now" (a/k/a mindfulness, what's objectively happening, "what's so"), and be aware of one's physical and emotional sensations. Have whatever comes up be ok (and in fact, these sensations are valuable teachers, as they can clue you to your authentic feelings).

I work with trauma survivors as well as highly sensitives. Some of my clients come to me habitually disassociating from their bodies, with panic attacks, and/or feelings of frequent overwhelm.  I've facilitated clients who were traversing a dark night of their soul and those in the midst of struggling to emerge from a history severe abuse. Some come to me out of touch with value in themselves and/or meaning in their life.

An insight I've received and shared is that those who have survived traumatic experiences bring an authenticity to their communication which is reassuring to others who have similar experiences  This authenticity is unmistakeable, and it can help other survivors of trauma to come to listen and to trust, and to realize recovery and healing is possible for them as well,  because someone else has been through it and understands. If it's their heart's desire, my clients can reach those who perhaps would not let themselves be reached a therapist who comes from academic theory only.

And at the very least, the experience of surviving incest, distorted caregiving, etc. can teach you what you don't like, and how you don't want to be. I tell my clients that now they have the glorious, gorgeous opportunity to discover for themselves what they do like, and what does nourish them. My clients start to do just that: in their exploration, they discover what their authentic self enjoys and what their heart enjoys doing. Some have gone on to become therapists, others have become speakers,  writers, artists, advocates and nurturing parents.

We can bloom out of a history of suffering and defilement, just as a Lotus grows out of rich muck, its blossoms, fragrance, and beauty inspiring all.

From Dhyan Gitan's Facebook page:  Swami Dhyan Gitan was trained in modern psychology at the University of Stockholm, and in Eastern methods for awareness in USA, Sweden and India. He has 22 years of experience in individual counseling and teaching awareness.

"Walk as if you are Kissing the Earth with Your Feet" - Thich Naht Hahn

Photo from: http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Sunshine-Page/117136288381773

Inspiration

“Start calling yourself healed, happy, whole, blessed, and prosperous. Stop talking to God* about how big your mountains are, and start talking to your mountains about how big your God is!” ― Joel Osteen

(*If you're not comfortable with God, feel free to insert Buddha, the Goddess, Nature,or unconditional Love instead)


As a highly sensitive, I've found connecting with the Divine, with the Life that is in everyone and in everything yields a beautiful nourishment, which replenishes and renews me.

Every Sunday, I spend some time in contemplation and I look for inspiration in preparation for the work week ahead. I love and use an Oracle -- often a deck of cards--to assist me to move me into the realm of seeing the possible, and I have about a dozen decks from several sources.

Doreen Virtue offers weekly inspiration from her many sets of Oracle card decks. Here is the one for the current week, with Doreen's interpretation:



Doreen comments, “The Goddess cards show a sweet week ahead of self-care, and the more self-care that you give to yourself, the sweeter the week is. Remember to ask for and allow others to help you!”


Another way to connect with the Divine is to notice what's beautiful in your life.
John Keats: "A thing of beauty is a joy forever."


Arabian stallion Hucks Connection V - Scottsdale Liberty Champion 2010.
The lovely Arabian stallion Connection performs ears up in joyful beauty, grace and masculine machismo in the Liberty class at Scottsdale, Arizona to the song "Macho Man" (originally sung by the Village People).

In a Liberty class, the horse is set free, and is judged on how well he or she moves, how it uses the entire arena, displays its gaits, and how well its movement fits the music (or vice versa). After the music stops, the handler must catch and halter the horse within 90 seconds. Connection heads over to the gate and waits for his handler as soon as the announcer calls "Time." Enjoy this performance - one judge gave it a perfect score!

Zen and Meditation on the End of Suffering

The practice of mindfulness is particularly helpful for the highly sensitive.

Today I begin my day in thankfulness, peace and gratitude. Today I meditate to the sound of the bell and the beautiful words of the beloved Buddhist monk and Zen teacher Thich Nhat Hahn on The End of Suffering:




"May the sound of this bell penetrate deep into the cosmos
Even in the darkest spots living beings are able to hear it clearly
So that all suffering in them ceases, understanding comes to their heart
And they transcend the path of sorrow and death.

The universal dharma door is already open
The sound of the rising tide is heard clearly
The miracle happens
A beautiful child appears in the heart of the lotus flower
One single drop of this compassionate water is enough to bring back the refreshing spring to our mountains and rivers.

Listening to the bell I feel the afflictions in me begin to dissolve
My mind calm, my body relaxed
A smile is born on my lips
Following the sound of the bell, my breath brings me back to the safe island of mindfulness
In the garden of my heart, the flowers of peace bloom beautifully." ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Thich Nhat Hanh

“We always have a choice,” the Tibetan Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön teaches, “we can let the circumstances of our lives harden us and make us increasingly resentful and afraid, or we can let them soften us and make us kinder.” 

Thanks to Denise for this quote:
“A further sign of health is that we don't become undone by fear and trembling, but we take it as a message that it's time to stop struggling and look directly at what's threatening us.”― Pema Chödrön, The Places that Scare You, A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times 


I'd add to that: what we THINK is threatening us.  Most of the time, our scary thoughts are about the future, or something in the present triggers a reminder of our past and we want to prevent a yucky like that from ever happening again.  So as the honored teacher Pema Chödrön suggests above, let's look directly, and let ourselves feel what we feel. As we do, notice what's happening in and around us in the present time, and we'll find that most (95% and higher)  moments are safe. --Ayleyaell

from http://pemachodronfoundation.org/

Video made by Adèla Stefanov: ‪

http://visionaryartgallery.weebly.com/adela-stefanov.html‬

Meditation and Music from Graceful Passages, written and produced by Michael Stillwater and Gary Malkin, with music by Gary Malkin.

Graceful Passages is a spoken word/music recording and gift book, designed to help open the conversation around mortality for anyone, but particularly for those facing it directly.with messages from 12 of the world's most profound wisdom keepers including Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi, Thich Nhat Hanh,  Elisabeth Kubler- Ross, and Ram Dass.


From Michael's website: "Graceful Passages, proven effective in reducing anxiety of major transitions, and supporting family members, patients, and health care providers with a spiritual sanctuary around the dying process." 

Jack Canfield, co-creator of the "Chicken Soup for the Soul" series, says:

"If you are going through challenges, or helping others going through transitions of any kind, I highly recommend Graceful Passages. The music is extraordinary, the spoken wisdom is timeless, and the gift book is exquisite. Let this masterpiece of healing music and inspiring words be an audio sanctuary for your soul and a priceless gift to share with someone you love."

Gandhi's Wisdom

Practicing some of Mahatma (A respectful title which means "Great Soul") Gandhi's philosophy can help the sensitive soul to participate more in today's intense world.

1. Truth
“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”

“Always aim at complete harmony of thought and word and deed."

"Aim at purifying your thoughts and everything will be well.”


2. Control.
“Nobody can hurt me without my permission.”


3. Action.
“An ounce of practice is worth more than tons of preaching.”

4. Change
“You must be the change you want to see in the world.”

“As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world – that is the myth of the atomic age – as in being able to remake ourselves.”


5. The present moment.
“I do not want to foresee the future. I am concerned with taking care of the present.
God has given me no control over the moment following.”


6. Everyone is human.
“I claim to be a simple individual liable to err like any other fellow mortal. I own, however, that I have humility enough to confess my errors and to retrace my steps.”

“It is unwise to be too sure of one’s own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err.”

7. Persist.

“First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.”


8. Goodness.
“I look only to the good qualities of men. Not being faultless myself, I won’t presume to probe into the faults of others.”

“I suppose leadership at one time meant muscles; but today it means getting along with people.”

9. Forgiveness.
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."

“An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind.”

10. Development.
“Constant development is the law of life, and a man who always tries to maintain his dogmas in order to appear consistent drives himself into a false position.”



And now, I invite you to arrange yourself comfortably,  open your senses, breathe and take in the marvelous "Gandhi Rap," by MC Yogi.  Enjoy!




Thanks to Claudia Kinnaman, whose email inspired this post!

Gandhi oil portrait - many sources, looking for origin

Gandhi with 2 women at PeaceWalk/ Picture source: 
http://harlemworldblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/mahatma_gandhi.jpg